5 Vital Behaviors of being a Parent

Posted: December 12, 2012 in Family, Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,
I thought I would write about raising kids today.  I am not writing this to say that we have it all figured out or that we have the best kids out there.  I have had the pleasure of being around hundreds and hundreds of children over the last 10yrs and witnessing some good things and some not so good things.  I thought I would explain some of these here to expand on the Family category that we have laid out.  We have 3 kids, 9yr old girl, 7yr old boy and a 3yr old girl.  We have all of the personalities on our house except the phlegmatic.  So to say the least we have a pretty competitive, and loud at times, home.

One of the things that we have done right, we read the 5 Love Languages and Personalities Plus books.  These have been very helpful in knowing how to react and coarse correct our children.

5 Vital Behaviors of being a Parent:

1. Be Consistent– I’ve seen this one broken many times over the years.  Parents get tired of telling the child to do something or to mind, so they go on with their activities as if nothing is wrong.  The problem is the child realizes that there are rarely consequences.  In other words the kids learn to call the bluff of the parent. It’s not easy to stay consistent, but it is necessary.  I see people that have marriage issues use parenting as the time to get back at their spouse and not play a team role.  This is sad because the one that loses the most is the child.

2. Have the other Parents Back.- This is tough because you may not always know everything that has happened yet when you enter a situation.  I have watched kids realize that they can get their parents fighting each other instead of focusing on the problem with the child.  I believe that kids shouldn’t see the parents at odds on a topic.  It’s like having a crack in the boat.

3. Read books that will help you be better–  I have learned so much from books that has helped me learn how to better handle myself in situations with my wife and kids. The info has been priceless to me.  Otherwise all we are doing is guessing, or getting advise from others that probably don’t know much more than us.

4. Your the Parent-  Sometimes people want to be the friends to their kids instead of the parent.  We must always lead as the parent and keep the relationship open enough so the kids feel they can trust us and come to us with anything.  When we break this we lose influence with our kids.

5. We are raising the next generation– I tell my kids that when we are disciplining them it’s because we love them.  If we don’t correct their behaviors the rest of the world will.  I love my kids enough to teach them principles and manners that will help them be good upstanding people.

I want to encourage everyone with children to grab another gear and do more.  Always be learning and lets practice what we preach.

Thanks for stopping by,

Steve Morgan

 

Comments
  1. Beth Morgan says:

    Great stuff. Hey, you’d make a good parent. Are you avaiable? Wanna have some kids? 🙂

    • Ha!! Even my funny wife left a comment on this post. Beth thanks for being an awesome mom and team player with me. I love raising our kids together, even though it’s not always easy.

      Steve

  2. Dan White says:

    Great Stuff Steve. As a parent and a grandparent, I can only say I wish you were older and had written this sooner…… Many, many, many need this. Just look around and you will see that most know little about parenting. Keep up the amazing posts!!!

  3. Damian Smith says:

    I love your humble approach to writing about experience you have with raising children as this is a very touchy topic for many people and for one to be humbled to learning that they can improve themselves as a parent takes a very pride swallowing commitment. I love the 5 Love Languages and Personality Plus(and there are versions geared specifically toward understanding children) because they don’t say do this, do that… they mearly offer a window into understanding your child and the reader can take what they find useful from it avoiding that possible “preaching” diagnosis as far as what the reader takes from it. You will also learn many things about yourself as a parent kind of doubling the value of the information. Those two books changed the way I look at the world period, let alone the wisdom they have afforded me in understanding the what, why, and how of my children’s behavior and thinking. Thank you Steve for the awesome writeup. You are a fantastic Leader and father!

  4. JB Thompson says:

    As a future parent I can appreciate this, I love vital behaviors. They break the complex down to a few steps that are easily check-able. These key vital behaviors of parenting will give someone the tools that they need to do in-order-to check their effectivness.

  5. Brian Shaw says:

    All Great tips Steve. I wish I would have had this material when my son was younger then 15. But it’s never to late to still teach him and hope he carries it to the next generation. Pay forward

  6. Jenny Salter says:

    Great post Steve! It’s always good to be reminded of good parenting skills. And to always be in a parenting book! We have all the personalities with 4, so I always have to have my game on;)
    Thanks Jenny
    btw love your wife!;)

  7. Jennie Mons says:

    Thanks for the great post, Steve! I don’t have children of my own yet, but as a teacher of eighteen youngsters daily, I agree with your vital behaviors. Consistency is definitely an important one. It’s interesting for me to learn from my students and their parents about different ways of parenting-I am amazed at all that I’ve witnessed, both good and not-so-good. I know every aspect isn’t cut and dry, but these vital behaviors you provide are one step toward a “handbook” that is so desperately sought after and needed by many. Besides the two books you’ve mentioned, are there any other favorites of yours and Beth’s, specific to parenting? Thanks again!

    • Jennie

      Thanks for the great info. Another book is Point Man and thats not so much aimed at just parenting but being the grown up that kids would need. Stop whining, complaining and bad attitudes. Wild at heart is a great one to understand a boy/man.

      thanks

      Steve Morgan

  8. Steve, thanks for sharing on this very important topic. Most people think the only resource is how their parents raised them. Fortunately we have many resources available. One of the best books I have read is Dare to Discipline by Dr. James Dobson. Thanks again for sharing Steve

  9. Kerri says:

    Hi Steve,

    We have learned so much from those two books as well. Keep up the great work sharing about this. I know our home has been blessed forever by getting new information to apply in our family.

    Sincerely,
    Kerri B.

  10. Laurie Tallio says:

    Interesting how your post about parenting had so much to do with marriage! Strength in parenting apparently comes from strength from each other! 🙂 We also need to be humble enough to know that we don’t know all we think we do. We need to recognize there is a source from which all knowledge comes!ll I’ve heard it said that the best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. Thanks to you and other men on the team for being such role models of leadership in the home.

  11. Bob Coe says:

    Great Blog Steve.

    Love all 5 points.

    Thanks for the book references. It is always great to get new sources of information that can be shared with others.

    Bob Coe

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